MILE HIGH FANTASY CLUB

HEADLINE

Jenkins survives by 0.94 points while sitting 114 on the bench.

WEEK IN REVIEW

Week 6 in the Mile High Fantasy Club was less a football competition and more a collective anxiety attack. Three of the six matchups were decided by fewer than 8 points, including the closest game of the season — Jenkins' Chasing Championships escaping Paul Todd's Big Bauls on the Table by a nauseating 0.94 points, 146.72–145.78. For context, Jenkins had 114.22 points sitting on his bench. One lineup tweak and he's buying everyone a round instead of dodging a bullet. Meanwhile, James' Schrack Daddy continued his quiet stranglehold on the league by beating Brian's The Caucasians by just 2.50 points, 162.60–160.10, keeping his 5-1 record pristine while Brian watches a two-game losing streak calcify into a real problem. The real gut-punch of the week belongs to Devon's So Girthy, who dropped a season-high 170.08 points and reminded everyone that the Girth-Master's runner-up finish last year was not a fluke — it was a warning.

The biggest upset of the week came courtesy of Ryan's Cohan down the drain, who knocked off Chas' Raven Fucker 128.32–120.78. Ryan's Patrick Mahomes dropped a 31.48-point performance and Drake Maye chipped in 27.24 off the bench, which is the most productive Ryan has been at anything since he started overvaluing his own trade assets. Chas, who barely opens the app on a good week, started Geno Smith for 8.66 points and left 41.40 points on the bench, including what appears to be a fully operational McCaffrey who still only managed 24.10. The loss snaps Chas' winning streak and is exactly the kind of thing that happens when your roster management strategy is "vibes." Down in the weekly cellar, Blake's Bad Brakes turned in a 100.20-point disaster — his season low — and somehow still nearly beat Justin's Bitch Pigeons, who sleepwalked to 102.26 with Jordan Love putting up 14.96 and Justin Fields contributing a generous 4.90 points from the QB2 slot. Blake started three tight ends and a guy named Sterling Shepard. That's not a lineup, that's a cry for help.

The standings are beginning to crystallize and the next two weeks will separate the contenders from the pretenders. James and Jenkins both sit 5-1, Devon is lurking at 3-3 with the hottest recent form in the league, and Tolby remains the most frustrating 0-6 in fantasy history — putting up 142.26 points in a loss and somehow averaging 134.20 on the season with nothing to show for it but another tick in the L column and a Commissioner's Curse that grows more legendary by the week. Week 7 cannot come fast enough.

MATCHUP RECAPS

So Girthy (Devon) def. Big Buck Dynasty (Tolby), 170.08–142.26

Devon put up the high score of the week and it wasn't particularly close, with Jaxon Smith-Njigba dropping 30.20, Kimani Vidal going off for 22.80, and Daniel Jones — yes, that Daniel Jones — tossing in 22.48 as a QB2. Devon is now 3-3 and riding a two-game winning streak with the second-most points scored this season at 873.50. Meanwhile Tolby scored a perfectly respectable 142.26 — nearly 10 points above the league average this week — and still lost his sixth straight game. Tolby is 0-6 with an average of 134.20 points per game, which means the Commissioner's Curse isn't just real, it has apparently taken out a long-term lease. D'Andre Swift (25.50) and Jayden Daniels (21.64) both showed out, Travis Kelce added 16.80, and none of it mattered one bit. If Tolby's roster were a movie it would be The Talented Mr. Ripley — clearly capable, somehow always the victim.

Bitch Pigeons (Justin) def. Bad Brakes (Blake), 102.26–100.20

Calling this a victory feels generous. Justin won by 2.06 points in a matchup where both teams finished well below the 132.87 league average, and both managers should probably send each other apology texts. Jonathan Taylor led Justin's squad with 23.70, but Justin Fields at QB2 for 4.90 points is the kind of decision that makes you question everything — including Justin's Packers fandom, since Love himself only mustered 14.96. Blake, the founding member and deadline-day dealer, started Josh Jacobs (32.00, easily his best player) but surrounded him with Ryan Flournoy (6.30), Courtland Sutton (2.70), and a receiving corps that collectively looked like they were playing in a Tuesday morning rec league. Blake finished 27% below the league average — his season low of 100.20 — and is now 3-3 with serious roster questions heading into the back half. Justin improves to 4-2 and extends his winning streak to four games, but this one should come with an asterisk the size of a tight end corps.

Schrack Daddy (James) def. The Caucasians (Brian), 162.60–160.10

This one was decided by 2.50 points and James should light a candle in gratitude because his roster left a jaw-dropping 95.38 points on the bench. NINETY-FIVE POINTS. That's an entire respectable fantasy lineup sitting untouched while James scraped by on Bijan Robinson's 35.80 and Rico Dowdle's absurd 33.90 — two players who together almost carried the whole load. Puka Nacua (4.80), Rome Odunze (5.20), and Deebo Samuel (5.40) were the starting receivers and combined for 15.40 points, which is less than Rico Dowdle scored by himself. Brian, meanwhile, got 31.80 from Drake London and 31.00 from De'Von Achane and still lost, which is the kind of heartbreak that turns reasonable men into conspiracy theorists. Brian's losing streak hits two games and at 3-3 he needs to get right immediately. James moves to 5-1 and somehow keeps winning despite himself — just like he has done three times for that championship trophy.

Cohan down the drain (Ryan) def. Raven Fucker (Chas), 128.32–120.78

Ryan wins, and you already know he's insufferable about it. Mahomes delivered 31.48 at the top of the lineup and Drake Maye added 27.24 off the bench — the most coherent Ryan's QB situation has looked all season — and it was just enough to hand Chas a loss. The upset snaps Chas' winning streak and drops him to 4-2, which stings more when you notice Chas had 41.40 points on the bench and started Darren Waller for 10.20 and Geno Smith for 8.66. Geno Smith is a New York Jet now, Chas — that's not a football team, that's an art installation. Christian McCaffrey went for 24.10 in what felt like a vintage performance surrounded by mediocrity. Ryan improves to 2-4, snaps a four-game losing streak, and will absolutely act like he's turned a corner. He hasn't. But for one week, Mahomes delivered and Ryan gets to be right about something, which is rare and therefore dangerous.

Chasing Championships (Jenkins) def. Big Bauls on the Table (Paul Todd), 146.72–145.78

The closest game of the season. 0.94 points. Jenkins wins. Jenkins also had 114.22 points on his bench and needs to sit quietly with that information for a while. Cam Skattebo (31.00) and Ja'Marr Chase (25.10) did the heavy lifting while Garrett Wilson mustered 4.30 and Kenneth Walker contributed a hollow 4.70. Paul Todd, the trade hound and stats guru who probably ran seventeen projections before Sunday, watched George Pickens (31.80) and Ladd McConkey (23.00) go nuclear for him — and still came up 0.94 short. That is the kind of loss that makes a grown man stare at the ceiling at 2 a.m. recalculating what would've happened if he'd started literally anyone differently. Paul is now 1-5 with four straight losses, which is genuinely criminal given his 818.56 total points — fifth in the league. His roster is strong enough to contend and soft enough to lose by a point to a guy who left a small village worth of points on the bench.

SLËËP3RÇĒLL (Andy) def. Back in the Goodell Days (Cameron), 110.86–104.54

Andy lives to sleep another week, edging Cameron 110.86–104.54 in a matchup neither team will brag about at Thanksgiving. Marquise Brown (20.50) and Tetairoa McMillan (17.90) carried Andy's side while Hassan Haskins (3.30) and Jacory Croskey-Merritt (5.80) at running back is the kind of depth chart that makes you wonder if Andy's famous sleeper research led him somewhere very, very dark this week. Cameron put up a quietly impressive Tyler Warren (21.30) and Brian Thomas (23.00) but started Tyquan Thornton for 0.00 points and Cam Ward for 6.88, which are the kinds of decisions that explain both the record and the "Back in the Goodell Days" branding. Cameron is 2-4 and still building, with 83.46 points left on the bench — meaning someone better than Thornton was available and didn't play. This is his second season, he's still learning, and honestly, we've all been there. Andy improves to 4-2 on the season's tiniest winning streak (one game) and keeps his playoff hopes flickering.

POWER RANKINGS

1. Schrack Daddy (James, 5-1) — Still the class of the league, still leaving 95 points on the bench, still winning. Three championships aged him zero percent.
2. Chasing Championships (Jenkins, 5-1) — Won by 0.94 points with 114 sitting idle. He's good and he knows it, which is the most Jenkins thing possible.
3. So Girthy (Devon, 3-3) — Season-high 170.08 this week, two-game win streak, and a swagger that says the runner-up finish last year lit a fire under him.
4. Raven Fucker (Chas, 4-2) — One bad week, 41 points left on bench, Geno Smith in the starting lineup. Chas has more championships than excuses and he'll be fine.
5. Bitch Pigeons (Justin, 4-2) — Four-game winning streak but averaging 139 and orchestrating trades from the Czech Republic. The multi-team deal is coming. Watch your phones.
6. The Caucasians (Brian, 3-3) — Drake London and De'Von Achane went off and he still lost. The world traveler is overdue for a bounce-back week before the 3-3 record becomes a crisis.
7. Big Bauls on the Table (Paul Todd, 1-5) — Fifth in total points at 818.56. One-and-five. This is the most Paul Todd season possible — elite on paper, winless on the field.
8. SLËËP3RÇĒLL (Andy, 4-2) — Winning at 4-2 despite Hassan Haskins at RB is either genius-level sleeper hunting or survivor's luck. Either way, the record is real.
9. Bad Brakes (Blake, 3-3) — Season low of 100.20 while starting three TEs and Courtland Sutton. The deadline-day trader needs to work the phones before it's too late.
10. Cohan down the drain (Ryan, 2-4) — Mahomes finally showed up, Ryan's crowing about it, and we all know this is a blip. Still, 2-4 is better than the alternative.
11. Big Buck Dynasty (Tolby, 0-6) — Averaging 134.20 points per game and winless. The Commissioner's Curse is no longer a joke. It is a documented medical condition.
12. Back in the Goodell Days (Cameron, 2-4) — Zero points from Tyquan Thornton. 83 on the bench. He's building. We believe in the process. Steady growth in 2026, as advertised.

LOOKING AHEAD

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  🏆 Marquee Matchup: Schrack Daddy vs. Chasing Championships — The two 5-1 titans finally collide. James and Jenkins both need this one, but only one walks away with a stranglehold on the top seed. If James leaves 95 on the bench again, Jenkins won't need those 114 sitting idle to punish him for it.

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  🔥 Streak Watch: Jenkins (W4) and Justin (W4) are both riding four-game winning streaks. One of them is about to face adversity — whether it's lineup mismanagement, bad luck, or a Czech Republic internet outage at the wrong moment.

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  ⚠️ Must-Win: Paul Todd (Big Bauls on the Table, 1-5) is running out of time. His total points are fifth in the league and he's lost five of six by margins that should be criminal. One more loss and the playoff math starts getting ugly even for a stats guy.

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  😤 Revenge Game: Chas (Raven Fucker) will not take last week's loss to Ryan lightly. Chas doesn't check the app, doesn't panic, and doesn't remember most of his games — but losing to Ryan has a way of cutting through the fog. Expect a characteristically indifferent but somehow dominant performance.

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  📉 League Trend: Three games decided by under 8 points this week means benches are the real story. Jenkins (114.22), James (95.38), Cameron (83.46), and Devon (68.80) all left significant points unplayed. The managers who crack the lineup code in the second half will separate themselves — and the ones who keep sitting their best options will be buying beer at next year's draft.