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HEADLINE

Mattdebator Scores 74.30, Still Hasn't Won a Game

WEEK IN REVIEW

Dirtybird (MoGaffar) went out and got his season back. After the 104.10 faceplant last week, he dropped 171.74 on ColeOrtiz, the second-highest score in the league this week behind nobody, because it was the highest. Tony Pollard went for 36.50 out of a flex spot, Jaxon Smith-Njigba added 31.30, and Drake Maye chipped in 28.44. MoGaffar is 5-2 and back on top of the standings, and the Juwan Johnson TE experience (1.70 points) is still the only thing holding this lineup back from being criminal. He also left 22.12 on the bench, which is a lot better than last week's 37.00 crime scene but still not zero.

The logjam resolved exactly the way the math said it would. MoGaffar, JoseLCDiaz, and runDMC28 all sit at 5-2, while THUMPSVR fell to 4-3 after losing to runDMC28 by 13.64. That prediction about runDMC28's WR room being a season-winner? Resolved. Tee Higgins went for 26.80, Luther Burden III added 23.70, and Malik Nabers chipped in 18.10. The man is on a four-game win streak and still has 49.70 points on his bench, which is the most absurd stat of the week. Nobody is calling that a typo. That's a second team sitting on his sideline.

Down the bottom, Mattdebator is 0-7. Jalen Hurts scored 0.00 and is currently listed on IR, Rashee Rice scored 0.00 and is currently listed OUT, and Stefon Diggs also gave him 0.00. Three zeros in the lineup, and the Eagles defense put up negative four. The man left 39.10 on the bench. Even if he started all of it, he still loses by 33.76. Week 8 hook: somebody has to play Mattdebator, and that somebody is going to feel a lot better about their season by Sunday night.

MATCHUP RECAPS

Dirtybird (MoGaffar) def. Green Bowl Packers (ColeOrtiz), 171.74–137.68

MoGaffar finished 25% above the league average and 34.06 points clear of ColeOrtiz, who had a perfectly respectable 137.68 and still got run over. Tony Pollard's 36.50 was the story, with Jaxon Smith-Njigba at 31.30 and Drake Maye at 28.44 doing the rest. The cost was the TE spot, where Juwan Johnson put up 1.70 and Spencer Shrader's 3.00 kicker line stayed bad. ColeOrtiz fell to 2-5, and Nico Collins (2.60) and Sam LaPorta (2.80) did the dirty work on his end. He also left 18.90 on the bench and traded for Jaylen Warren, who went for 16.70 and then promptly became runDMC28's problem to enjoy. At 2-5, the season is closer to a cautionary tale than a comeback, though one more bad week and it's officially over.

Kraft Smack and cheese (IrishLiquid) def. Swift Bowers Movement (SirGrinch), 131.68–116.50

IrishLiquid squeaked out a 15.18-point win, and his streak is now two. Joe Burrow went for 28.88, Zay Flowers dropped 27.70, and Tucker Kraft added 14.80. Aaron Jones Sr. gave him 3.60 and J.K. Dobbins gave him 8.30, so the backfield is a rumor. The kicker Trey Smack scored 4.00 for a team named after him, which is on brand for the whole experience. SirGrinch fell to 3-4 on a three-game losing streak. He scored 116.50 and left 54.82 on his bench, the most unused points in the league this week. Derrick Henry went for 5.90 and the Texans defense posted 3.00. SirGrinch is the highest-scoring team in the league by total points (1063.18) and he's sitting under .500. At some point we stop calling it bad luck and start calling it a lineup problem.

Irsay's Dealer (runDMC28) def. Unsolicited Dak Pics (THUMPSVR), 152.72–139.08

runDMC28 is on a four-game winning streak and now at 5-2. He beat THUMPSVR by 13.64 with 152.72 points, about 14% above the league average. Tee Higgins (26.80) and Luther Burden III (23.70) led the way while Brock Purdy (14.02) and Justin Jefferson (8.40) combined for a pile of mediocre. The problem is the 49.70 points on the bench. If he'd started all of that he'd have scored 202.42, which is a league record that he refused to set. THUMPSVR fell to 4-3 even though Bo Nix, the Week 6 waiver pickup, went for 26.28. The Jets defense went for 1.00 and Garrett Wilson scored 4.60, and THUMPSVR left 27.40 on his own bench. A team with this much talent shouldn't be 4-3, but here we are.

Pitts Sniffer (JoseLCDiaz) def. Hanging with Hernandez (Mattdebator), 147.16–74.30

The 72.86-point blowout was the biggest margin of the week, and it was exactly as one-sided as the record suggested. Trey McBride led JoseLCDiaz with 27.10, Amon-Ra St. Brown put up 24.20, and Bucky Irving added 24.00. Emeka Egbuka scored 0.00 and the 49ers defense went for -1.00, so there are leaks in the boat, but the boat is still on the water. JoseLCDiaz is 5-2 and only left 14.50 on the bench, the cleanest lineup of the week by a wide margin. Mattdebator put up 74.30, which was 46% below the league average, and he has now lost seven in a row. The only surprise is that it wasn't worse.

POWER RANKINGS

1. Dirtybird (MoGaffar, 5-2): Highest score of the week at 171.74 and the best ceiling in the league. Fix the TE spot and this is the clear favorite.
2. Pitts Sniffer (JoseLCDiaz, 5-2): Cleanest lineup management in the league with only 14.50 benched. Steady, consistent, and nobody wants to play him in the playoffs.
3. Irsay's Dealer (runDMC28, 5-2): Four straight wins, but 49.70 points on the bench is a lineup problem waiting to cost him a game.
4. Unsolicited Dak Pics (THUMPSVR, 4-3): Bo Nix pickup paid off at 26.28, but he left 27.40 on the bench and slipped to 4-3 anyway.
5. Kraft Smack and cheese (IrishLiquid, 4-3): Two straight wins and a Burrow-Flowers combo that works. Still averaging 129.32, so the schedule is carrying some of this.
6. Swift Bowers Movement (SirGrinch, 3-4): Second-best total points in the league and a losing record. Left 54.82 on the bench, which explains most of it.
7. Green Bowl Packers (ColeOrtiz, 2-5): Scored 137.68 and still lost by 34. McCaffrey and Dak carried a lineup full of Collins and LaPorta duds.
8. Hanging with Hernandez (Mattdebator, 0-7): Three zeros and a negative-four defense. Bench points alone would not have saved this one.

LOOKING AHEAD

• ›Marquee Matchup: The three-way 5-2 logjam at the top means every game involving MoGaffar, JoseLCDiaz, or runDMC28 matters. Whoever draws a fellow contender next week is playing a de facto playoff game.
• ›Streak Watch: runDMC28 carries a four-game win streak into Week 8, while SirGrinch needs to stop a three-game slide before it kills his season. Mattdebator's L7 is the longest streak of any kind in the league.
• ›Must-Win: SirGrinch at 3-4 with the second-most points in the league is running out of runway. Another loss and 1063.18 total points becomes the most expensive participation trophy in league history.
• ›Revenge Game: ColeOrtiz made the Jaylen Warren trade and runDMC28 got the player, so if these two meet again, there's a score to settle.
• ›League Trend: Bench management is still the story. runDMC28 left 49.70, SirGrinch left 54.82, and THUMPSVR left 27.40. The managers who fix this first will separate from the pack.