MILE HIGH FANTASY CLUB

HEADLINE

Jenkins Drops 173, But James Is Still Running This League

WEEK IN REVIEW

Week 5 in the Mile High Fantasy Club was loud, ugly, and deeply personal — which is exactly how we like it. Jenkins (Chasing Championships) put up the week's high score of 173.54 behind Ja'Marr Chase's 29-point masterclass and a Sam Darnold flex that nobody should be allowed to feel good about, torching Andy's SLËËP3RÇĒLL by 49.26 points in the week's biggest blowout. Meanwhile, James (Schrack Daddy) quietly went about his business again — 150.14, a 38-point win over Cameron, and a 4-1 record that now looks less like luck and more like a fourth championship is already being engraved. Devon (So Girthy) continued his villain arc with a 169.56-point demolition of Ryan, because apparently "Cohan down the drain" is less a team name and more a prophecy.

The week's biggest chaos came courtesy of Blake (Bad Brakes), who handed Brian (The Caucasians) the upset of the week — 153.92 to 126.78 — snapping Brian's momentum right when he was looking like a genuine contender. Zach Ertz contributing a heroic 0.00 points from the tight end spot didn't help Brian's cause, and neither did Malik Washington's 4-point cameo. Brian has the talent. Brian has the history. Brian also started a ghost. Tolby (Big Buck Dynasty) dropped to 0-5 despite a 128-point effort, because the football gods have read the Curse chapters and they are committed to the bit. Jaylen Waddle (23.0) and Stefon Diggs (24.6) cooked — it just didn't matter. Again.

Heading into Week 6, the 4-1 trio of James, Jenkins, and Chas are pulling away at the top while Justin's Bitch Pigeons quietly ride a three-game win streak into the conversation. The real drama lives in the middle — Brian, Justin, and Devon are all 3-2 or 2-3 and a bad week away from the danger zone. Meanwhile, Ryan at 1-4 and Tolby at 0-5 are running out of weeks to call it a rough patch. This is a rough season. Week 6 cannot come fast enough.

MATCHUP RECAPS

Chasing Championships (Jenkins) def. SLËËP3RÇĒLL (Andy), 173.54–124.28

Jenkins put up his season-high this week — 173.54 points — 25% above the league average and good enough for the week's top score. Ja'Marr Chase delivered 29 points, Rachaad White added 23.1 in flex, and Sam Darnold's 27.64-point QB2 performance is the kind of thing that makes a stat nerd like Jenkins do a little victory lap he absolutely does not deserve. Andy's 124.28 was a respectable score on paper — Jacory Croskey-Merritt went off for 27 points — but the ceiling just wasn't there, and Mac Jones as your starting QB is a lifestyle choice Andy needs to examine. Jenkins moves to 4-1 on a three-game win streak and is firmly in the top tier. Andy drops to 3-2 and has now lost two straight, which is concerning for a guy banking on sleepers to carry him to January.

So Girthy (Devon) def. Cohan down the drain (Ryan), 169.56–123.74

Devon dropped 169.56 — 22% above league average — and it wasn't even close, a 45.82-point blowout that is now the season's biggest margin. Javonte Williams contributed 26.9, Jaxon Smith-Njigba added 27.2, and Mason Taylor quietly posted 22.2 at tight end in a lineup that just keeps finding points. Ryan, meanwhile, trotted out Bhayshul Tuten for 2.1 points at running back, which is the fantasy equivalent of bringing a butter knife to a sword fight. Patrick Mahomes posted a respectable 26.72 at QB, but Ryan's floor is so volatile that one bad RB start tanks the whole week. Devon improves to 2-3 and snaps a losing streak — the Girth-Master is back in shape. Ryan falls to 1-4 with a three-game skid, and the 2026 rebuild conversation is no longer hypothetical.

Schrack Daddy (James) def. Back in the Goodell Days (Cameron), 150.14–112.04

James didn't post his flashiest number — 150.14, modest by his standards — but he didn't need to. Cameron's 112.04 was 23% below league average, and this one was never close. Baker Mayfield went for 26.66 as James's QB2, which is either genius or just James being James and getting away with it for the fourth time this decade. Puka Nacua (24.5) and Deebo Samuel (23.6) did the heavy lifting in a wide receiver room that simply doesn't quit. Cameron had a rough one — Justice Hill posted 2.2 points, Woody Marks added 2.4, and the real gut punch is that his bench left 54.20 points sitting idle, the most of any manager this week. James moves to 4-1 and leads the league in average points at 167.85. Cameron falls to 2-3 and needs to find a way to stop leaving half his roster in street clothes.

Raven Fucker (Chas) def. Big Bauls on the Table (Paul Todd), 166.44–149.46

Chas wins again, barely thinks about it, and moves to 4-1. The man posted 166.44 — Kyren Williams went nuclear for 31.1 points, Christian McCaffrey added 27.9 in what may have been a revenge game against the injury gods, and Justin Jefferson chipped in 19.3. Paul Todd put up a legitimate 149.46 — Dak Prescott led with 28.28 at QB, Calvin Ridley and David Montgomery both hit — but it just wasn't enough against a Chas lineup that seems to run on autopilot. Paul falls to 1-4 with his third straight loss, which is brutal for a guy with a 134.56 average and a roster that looks great on paper every single Sunday morning and somehow still loses. The "Big Bauls" are on the table. They may need to be checked.

Bitch Pigeons (Justin) def. Big Buck Dynasty (Tolby), 165.82–128.04

Justin's Bitch Pigeons keep rolling — 165.82 points, a third consecutive win, and Jonathan Taylor's 31.6-point explosion leading the way alongside Jake Ferguson's 27.4 and Sam LaPorta's 22.7. Two tight ends combining for 50 points in a single week is exactly the Czech Republic chaos Justin was born to orchestrate. Tolby posted 128.04 — Stefon Diggs (24.6), Jaylen Waddle (23.0), and Travis Kelce (22.6) all showed up — but Ollie Gordon's minus-0.20 and Taysom Hill's 0.66 at the flex slots are the kind of roster decisions that haunt a commissioner in his own league. Tolby sits at 0-5. Five losses. All five competitive enough to make it hurt more. The Curse is not just a joke anymore — it is a documented, peer-reviewed phenomenon with a five-game sample size.

Bad Brakes (Blake) def. The Caucasians (Brian), 153.92–126.78 ⚡ UPSET

This was the week's biggest upset, and it came with receipts. Blake put up 153.92 — his season high — with a tight end room that scored 60.5 combined points across Dalton Kincaid (19.8), David Njoku (21.7), and Evan Engram (15.3). Starting three tight ends and winning is the kind of move that either gets you fired from your job or wins you a fantasy matchup — Blake chose wisely. Brian, meanwhile, posted 126.78 despite Stafford's 25.56 and a respectable RB duo in Gibbs (16.7) and Achane (16.6). The culprit? Zach Ertz. Zero points. Goose egg. An absolute flatline from a tight end who should've been cut before kickoff. Brian drops to 3-2 and snaps a two-game winning streak at the worst possible time — a guy who logged this draft from a different continent deserves better than a zero from his tight end.

POWER RANKINGS

1. Schrack Daddy (James, 4-1) — League-high 167.85 avg, W2 streak, and Baker Mayfield is somehow a weapon. The defending champ is defending.

2. Chasing Championships (Jenkins, 4-1) — Season-high 173.54 this week, W3 streak, stat nerd optimizing in real time. The closest thing to a James challenger right now.

3. Raven Fucker (Chas, 4-1) — Never checks the app, still 4-1. Kyren Williams just dropped 31 points for a guy who probably found out after the fact.

4. Bitch Pigeons (Justin, 3-2) — W3 streak, dual tight end dominance from Prague, and Jonathan Taylor proving he's still elite. Playoff push is real.

5. The Caucasians (Brian, 3-2) — Genuine talent across the roster but Zach Ertz just cost him a winnable game. Brian logged a draft from overseas for this. He deserved better.

6. So Girthy (Devon, 2-3) — 169.56 this week, back on track, and Javonte Williams at 26.9 in flex is the kind of flex that makes other managers sick. The Girth-Master has recharged.

7. Bad Brakes (Blake, 3-2) — Three TEs, 153.92, an upset win. Blake is a deadline-day trader who just reminded everyone he knows what he's doing. Broncos bias contained.

8. Big Bauls on the Table (Paul Todd, 1-4) — 134.56 average with a 1-4 record is a scheduling crime. Strong roster, brutal draw. Must win before the trade deadline instincts kick in and he blows it up.

9. SLËËP3RÇĒLL (Andy, 3-2) — The Michigan surgeon got blasted by 49 points this week and Mac Jones is still his QB. The sleepers aren't sleeping — they're comatose.

10. Back in the Goodell Days (Cameron, 2-3) — 54 bench points unused, Justice Hill doing nothing, and Herbert underperforming. The Chargers fan is living the Chargers experience.

11. Cohan down the drain (Ryan, 1-4) — Three straight losses, a 2.1-point RB start, and a team name that keeps becoming more accurate. Mahomes can't save this alone.

12. Big Buck Dynasty (Tolby, 0-5) — Kelce, Diggs, Waddle, and Daniels all scored. Still lost. The Commissioner's Curse has a five-game winning streak against its own creator.

LOOKING AHEAD

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  🏆 Marquee Matchup: Jenkins (4-1, Chasing Championships) vs. Chas (4-1, Raven Fucker) — two of the three undefeated-adjacent teams meet for the first time this season. Jenkins will have his charts ready. Chas will look at his lineup approximately once. One of them drops their first loss.

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  🔥 Streak Watch: Justin's Bitch Pigeons are on a three-game win streak and quietly have the best momentum in the league outside the top two. A Week 6 win makes him impossible to ignore as a playoff contender — and gives him fresh trade leverage from the Czech Republic.

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  🚨 Must-Win: Ryan (Cohan down the drain, 1-4) cannot afford a fourth straight loss. At 1-5, the "eyeing a 2026 rebuild" conversation becomes an obituary. Mahomes needs help. Like, real help.

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  😤 Revenge Game: Brian (The Caucasians) bounces back after Zach Ertz's historical zero torpedoed a winnable Week 5. Expect a lineup that does not include any tight end who has been unemployed at any point in 2025.

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  📉 League Trend: The gap between the haves and have-nots is widening fast — James, Jenkins, and Chas average nearly 155 points per game combined, while the bottom three (Ryan, Cameron, Tolby) average under 127. If the schedule doesn't shuffle things up soon, the playoff picture may already be writing itself. Meanwhile, Tolby still hasn't won a game, and the league's commissioner is one more loss away from having to issue his own fine.