CITIZENSHIP REQUIRED

HEADLINE

Stackhouse Scores 37.50 as Eight Teams Share 4-3

WEEK IN REVIEW

Let's start with the crime scene. Stackhouse2026 posted 37.50 points, the season low for the entire league, and lost to chass 126.52–37.50 by 89.02, the biggest blowout of the year. That is 69% below the league average. Jeremiyah Love and Mike Evans each scored 0.00, and both are currently listed OUT. Meanwhile 92.28 points sat on the bench. That is more than double the score that got posted. The bench alone would have won by 55.78. Stackhouse is 1-6 on an L5 skid and may just be donating points to the cause at this point.

Now the real story: eight of ten teams are 4-3. Eight. Mother Kelly, andie, Young Shea, Shea's Boyfriend, chass, justincash, Shauners, and HEEEEEEEEEEEEE are separated only by points scored. Young Shea started the season hot, took L3 this week, and fell to 96.60 against justincash's 126.78. Shauners dropped to L2 getting dismantled by andie's 157.40, the high score of the week. andie is now on W3 and Mother Kelly, still the league's highest scorer at 938.34 total points, is on W2 and finally sits where her point total says she should: first.

The league's most improbable finish belongs to JesusJesse (2-5), who beat HEEEEEEEEEEEEE 133.48–126.48 thanks to Joe Burrow's 32.88 and KC Concepcion Jr.'s 23.20. HEEEEEEEEEEEEE dropped Concepcion in Week 6, then watched him score 23.20 for the opponent in a game decided by 7.00. Write that on a Post-it and stick it to your monitor. Week 8 is going to be a bloodbath of 4-3 teams knocking each other into the standings abyss.

MATCHUP RECAPS

Mother Kelly (Mother Kelly) def. Shea's Boyfriend (Owen), 117.32–103.66

Mother Kelly won by 13.66 despite 117.32 sitting 4% below the league's 122.17 season average (and 3% above this week's 114.11). Jaxon Smith-Njigba carried with 31.30, Caleb Williams added 24.12, and Luther Burden III chipped in 23.70. Nico Collins gave her 2.60 and the Jets defense gave her -2.00, so this was a win built on three guys and a prayer. Shea's Boyfriend had George Kittle at 14.80 and Ashton Jeanty at 21.60, but Tetairoa McMillan's 8.00 and Isaiah Likely's 3.20 sank him. Mother Kelly now sits first at 4-3 with W2. Shea's Boyfriend's L1 knocks him to fourth.

Justincash (justincash) def. Young Shea (Young Shea), 126.78–96.60

The returning champ is quietly stacking wins (W2). Bucky Irving went off for 27.00, Dak Prescott added 23.28, and Christian McCaffrey chipped in 22.00. Young Shea's lineup hit a wall: Wan'Dale Robinson 4.70, Juwan Johnson 1.70, Justin Jefferson 8.40, and Houston's defense at -2.00. That's 96.60, or 21% below the league's 122.17 average. Young Shea also left 90.72 points on the bench, meaning the bench outscored the starting lineup by seeing the field zero times. At L3, Young Shea went from perfect to lost in a month. justincash is now 4-3 and a real problem for everyone.

Andie (andie) def. Shauners (Shauners), 157.40–115.32

andie's 157.40 was the week's high score, 29% above the league's 122.17 season average, and a 42.08 point beating that included Zay Flowers at 27.70, Trey McBride at 27.10, and Braelon Allen at 22.40. Kyler Murray gave her 13.90 at QB, which is shockingly not a problem when everyone else eats. Shauners got big games from Javonte Williams (24.50), CeeDee Lamb (24.40), and Rhamondre Stevenson (22.50), but Garrett Wilson's 4.60 and Parker Washington's 0.00 wrecked the ship. andie is W3 and sits second at 4-3. Shauners slides to L2 with 842.98 total points and is quietly drifting.

JesusJesse (JesusJesse) def. HEEEEEEEEEEEEE (HEEEEEEEEEEEEE), 133.48–126.48

The 2-5 team beat an 4-3 team by 7.00 points. Joe Burrow's 32.88 did the heavy lifting, and KC Concepcion Jr., picked up off waivers this week, delivered 23.20. HEEEEEEEEEEEEE had dropped Concepcion in Week 6, so the guy he cut scored 23.20 against him in a 7.00 point loss. Geno Smith's 29.48 and Jameson Williams's 26.10 were good, but the Panthers defense posted -4.00 and Chuba Hubbard gave 10.00. HEEEEEEEEEEEEE is L1, JesusJesse is W1, and the standings will tell you this was supposed to go the other way.

Chass (chass) def. Stackhouse2026 (Stackhouse2026), 126.52–37.50

Chass won by 89.02, but let's be real: Derrick Henry gave her 5.90, Jason Myers kicked 8.00, and she won with Jared Goff's 20.02, Puka Nacua's 21.80, and Colston Loveland's 19.90. That 126.52 is 4% above the week's 114.11 league average, nothing earth-shattering. The opponent put up 37.50. This is the football equivalent of beating a team that forgot to show up. chass is W1 and 4-3, a team with a 195.94 season high looking suspiciously mid in a week it should have felt invincible.

POWER RANKINGS

1. Mother Kelly (Mother Kelly, 4-3): First in the standings, first in points at 938.34, on W2. The talent-to-record paradox is finally closing, one Smith-Njigba explosion at a time.
2. andie (andie, 4-3): W3 and a league-high 157.40 this week. Second in points at 903.46 with the highest recent ceiling in the league.
3. justincash (justincash, 4-3): The defending champ is W2 with a 126.78 win over Young Shea. Quietly rounding into form at the right time.
4. chass (Ed West's Best, 4-3): Beat a 37.50 team, which is not a flex. The 195.94 high is a ghost, and she is just surviving.
5. Shea's Boyfriend (Owen, 4-3): L1 with 103.66 despite 892.30 total points. A 183.18 ceiling in there somewhere, buried under inconsistent weeks.
6. Young Shea (Young Shea, 4-3): L3 with 90.72 bench points wasted this week. Perfect start is a distant memory and the slide is real.
7. Shauners (Shauners, 4-3): L2 after getting blown out by andie, 842.98 PF is mid-pack. Parker Washington's 0.00 in a starting slot is a choice.
8. HEEEEEEEEEEEEE (HEEEEEEEEEEEEE, 4-3): L1 after losing to a 2-5 team on a guy he dropped. Lowest points among the 4-3 pack at 821.92.
9. JesusJesse (JesusJesse, 2-5): W1 on Burrow's 32.88 and a waiver pickup. 791.68 PF suggests he's been better than his record, but not enough.
10. Stackhouse2026 (Stackhouse, 1-6): L5 with a 37.50 disaster. Two starters scoring 0.00 and listed OUT, plus 92.28 on the bench. Season is over.

LOOKING AHEAD

• ›Marquee Matchup: With eight teams stuck at 4-3, every head-to-head is a de facto playoff elimination game. Watch for Mother Kelly (938.34 PF) trying to turn first place into an actual lead.
• ›Streak Watch: andie rides W3 into Week 8 with the league's top single-week score. Young Shea carries L3 and Stackhouse is on L5, both looking for a way off the escalator.
• ›Must-Win: Young Shea needs to stop the bleeding. L3 with 90.72 bench points left unused is not a talent problem, it's a lineup problem, and the 4-3 cushion is evaporating.
• ›Revenge Game: HEEEEEEEEEEEEE has to live with the fact that KC Concepcion Jr., his own drop, scored 23.20 in a 7.00 point loss. That kind of decision doesn't wash off quickly.
• ›League Trend: The bench-points crisis got worse this week. Young Shea left 90.72 on the pine, Stackhouse left 92.28, and chass left 68.00. When eight teams are separated by points scored, starting the right guys is the whole ballgame.