MILE HIGH FANTASY CLUB

HEADLINE

Justin Drops a 204 Bomb While Andy's Team Flatlines at 68

WEEK IN REVIEW

Week 7 of the Mile High Fantasy Club was less of a football game and more of a crime scene — and Justin was the one holding the weapon. Bitch Pigeons erupted for 204.42 points, the season high for any team and the biggest individual performance this league has seen all year. Jonathan Taylor (34.20), DeVonta Smith (33.30), Quinshon Judkins (26.40), and Jake Ferguson (25.40) all went nuclear on the same night, in the same lineup, for the same guy who drafted from the Czech Republic. That's not fantasy football, that's witchcraft with a Packers hoodie on. Poor Paul Todd absorbed the 79.92-point blowout — the biggest of the season — and his Big Bauls on the Table squad is now sitting at 1-6, despite averaging 134.72 points a game. That's the cruelest number in this newsletter.

While Justin was torching everything in sight, the week's other storylines were quietly wild. James (Schrack Daddy) kept his iron grip on first place with a 162.58-point performance against Chas, extending his win streak to four and his season average to a league-best 166.35. Bo Nix dropped 39.96 points at QB — shoutout to James drafting his guys and somehow being right — while Trey McBride added 34.40 to make it look easy. Meanwhile, Andy's SLËËP3RÇĒLL posted a season-low 68.66 points against Devon, which included Caleb Williams putting up 4.68 points, Mac Jones at 5.18, and Chig Okonkwo registering a goose egg. The surgeon who researches deep sleepers had every patient flatline in the same week. There's a support group, Andy. We'll save you a seat.

The week's most satisfying result? Cameron — the newest member, the middle school teacher, the guy who inherited a broken team — knocked off commissioner Tolby in a 4.64-point nail-biter to snap his own losing skid. Joe Flacco came off Cameron's bench and threw up 25.98 points at QB. The Curse stays alive and well in Denver. Looking ahead to Week 8, the two-loss teams at the top are on a collision course, Jenkins is quietly terrifying, and Blake desperately needs someone — anyone — to show up in his starting lineup.

MATCHUP RECAPS

Bitch Pigeons (Justin) def. Big Bauls on the Table (Paul Todd), 204.42–124.50

Justin went Full Czech Republic this week — 204.42 points, a season high, and a 49% performance above the league average. Jonathan Taylor (34.20), Quinshon Judkins (26.40), Jake Ferguson (25.40), and DeVonta Smith (33.30) all delivered in the same week, which statistically should not be legal. Paul Todd's 124.50 was actually respectable for most weeks, but respectable doesn't matter when your opponent is playing on God Mode. Big Bauls on the Table is now 1-6 — six straight losses — despite an average of 134.72 points per game, which is genuinely above the season-long league average. That's the kind of luck that makes a grown man question everything. Justin is riding a 5-game win streak at 5-2 and quietly building a resume for a deep playoff run.

Schrack Daddy (James) def. Raven Fucker (Chas), 162.58–121.32

James does it again, because of course he does. A 41.26-point blowout, a fourth consecutive win, and a 166.35 season average that nobody in this league is sniffing. Bo Nix went off for 39.96 — yes, that Bo Nix — and Trey McBride added 34.40 at tight end to cement James's status as the guy everyone hates to love. Chas, meanwhile, started Darren Waller (0.00 pts) and Geno Smith (2.78), which are the kinds of lineup decisions that only Chas could survive for this long. He's now lost two straight and slipped to 4-3, though his season average of 139.72 keeps him firmly in playoff conversation. James at 6-1 and leading the league in points-for is genuinely scary, and if the podcast has a Week 7 episode, the host already knows the topic.

Chasing Championships (Jenkins) def. Bad Brakes (Blake), 160.56–89.36

Jenkins dropped 160.56 points. Blake dropped 89.36. Ja'Marr Chase alone (38.10) nearly outscored half of Blake's lineup. This was a 71.20-point blowout — the biggest margin of the week — and it was not particularly close from the opening whistle. Blake's squad was 35% below the league average, Mike Evans posted 0.00 on a new team, Nick Chubb mustered 2.10 as a free agent, and Tyler Allgeier contributed 1.60 in what can only be described as a roster fire sale in real time. Jenkins moves to 6-1 with a 5-game win streak and is putting together one of the quieter dominant seasons in recent league memory. If Blake doesn't find a waiver wire solution soon, the pink t-shirt is already being dry-cleaned.

Cohan down the drain (Ryan) def. The Caucasians (Brian), 167.82–136.10

Ryan — the overly confident, excuse-laden, Chiefs-clinging villain of this group chat — put together a legitimate 167.82-point performance and pulled off the upset of the week. A.J. Brown (28.10), Chris Olave (26.80), Jordan Addison (21.80), and Drake Maye (23.08) all delivered, while Ryan wisely left almost nothing on his bench (8.70 pts). Brian's 136.10 was actually a solid score on most weeks — Jahmyr Gibbs went for 36.80 — but it wasn't enough. Brian drops to 3-4 and has now lost three straight after starting the season hot, which is a concerning skid for a guy who's logged drafts from farms in Europe and classrooms in China. Ryan at 3-4 is clawing back into relevance, though "Cohan down the drain" may need to reconsider that team name if he keeps winning.

So Girthy (Devon) def. SLËËP3RÇĒLL (Andy), 113.96–68.66

Devon didn't need to be great this week. He just needed to not be Andy. At 113.96 points Devon was below the league average, but Andy's SLËËP3RÇĒLL imploded to a season-low 68.66 — 50% below the league average — making Devon look like a genius by comparison. Caleb Williams (4.68), Jacory Croskey-Merritt (4.20), Jordan Whittington (2.90), Chig Okonkwo (0.00), and Mac Jones (5.18) all started and all failed simultaneously. That's not bad luck, that's a whole roster having a Monday. Andy came into 2025 loaded with career-high draft picks, but the sleepers aren't sleeping — they're in a coma. Devon moves to 4-3 on a 3-game win streak and continues his remarkable turnaround from perennial toilet-bowl contender to legitimate postseason threat.

Back in the Goodell Days (Cameron) def. Big Buck Dynasty (Tolby), 131.88–127.24

The Curse claims another victim — and this time it's Tolby himself, the commissioner, the founding member, the man who makes the rules. Cameron's Back in the Goodell Days squeaked out a 4.64-point nail-biter with Joe Flacco (25.98 pts off the bench at QB) doing the heavy lifting nobody asked for. Tyler Warren (18.90) and Noah Fant (16.40) also contributed for Cameron, who moves to 3-4 and picks up a much-needed win that could have playoff seeding implications by season's end. Tolby's 127.24 was respectable — Tucker Kraft (19.30), Cade Otton (17.00), and Zach Charbonnet (19.50) all showed up — but Tua Tagovailoa scoring -1.40 points is a special kind of awful that deserves its own monument. The Curse is alive, well, and apparently still paying Tolby's membership dues.

POWER RANKINGS

1. Schrack Daddy (James, 6-1) — 166.35 average, 4-game win streak, and somehow Bo Nix is his guy now. Insufferable but impossible to argue with.

2. Chasing Championships (Jenkins, 6-1) — Ja'Marr, CeeDee, Tee Higgins all in one lineup. Jenkins checked his app 47 times this week. It paid off.

3. Bitch Pigeons (Justin, 5-2) — 204.42 points from the Czech Republic. The Packers fan with three tight ends just posted the season high. Fear him.

4. So Girthy (Devon, 4-3) — Three straight wins and a real playoff shot. Girth-Master's era of toilet-bowl trophies may genuinely be over.

5. Raven Fucker (Chas, 4-3) — Barely checks the app, started Waller at zero, still 4-3. Chas's luck is a renewable energy source.

6. The Caucasians (Brian, 3-4) — Three-game losing streak despite strong scoring. Brian drafted this roster from a different continent and it still competes. Respect.

7. Cohan down the drain (Ryan, 3-4) — 167.82 points and left only 8.70 on the bench. Ryan played a perfect lineup and wants everyone to know it. He'll tell you again.

8. Back in the Goodell Days (Cameron, 3-4) — A middle school teacher just upset the commissioner in a 4-point squeaker. The curriculum at Cameron's school apparently includes gamesmanship.

9. Big Bauls on the Table (Paul Todd, 1-6) — 134.72 average, 1-6 record. The stats say top-8. The standings say toilet bowl. Fantasy is cruel and Paul Todd is its favorite punching bag.

10. Big Buck Dynasty (Tolby, 0-7) — 0-7, but the roster averages 133.20 points. The Curse has officially taken on a life of its own. The commissioner cannot save himself.

11. Bad Brakes (Blake, 3-4) — 89.36 points this week with a roster full of free agents and disappointments. Blake's deadline-day trade instincts need to kick in immediately.

12. SLËËP3RÇĒLL (Andy, 4-3) — A 68.66-point implosion that will haunt the group chat forever. The surgeon's deep sleepers all flatlined. Malpractice investigation pending.

LOOKING AHEAD

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  🏆 Marquee Matchup: James (Schrack Daddy, 6-1) vs. Jenkins (Chasing Championships, 6-1) — both teams averaging 150+ points, both on win streaks, both with championship pedigree. The podcast host versus the stat nerd. One of them leaves Week 8 at 7-1 and in the driver's seat for the top seed. Set your alarms.

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  🔥 Streak Watch: Justin's Bitch Pigeons are on a 5-game win streak and just posted a 204-point masterpiece. If his roster stays healthy coming out of the Czech Republic, this team is peaking at exactly the right time — and nobody in the league wants that matchup.

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  🚨 Must-Win: Tolby (Big Buck Dynasty, 0-7) cannot afford another loss. An 0-8 start with a 133-point average would be statistically heartbreaking and historically cursed. The Curse has officially become the league's starting tight end.

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  ⚔️ Revenge Game: Brian (The Caucasians, 3-4) needs a bounce-back performance after dropping three straight. He's got the roster to do it — the question is whether the world traveler has reliable WiFi this week.

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  📉 League Trend: High-scoring weeks are punishing bad matchups at a historic rate — the Week 7 blowout margin of 79.92 points is the biggest of the season. With rosters gaining clarity mid-season, the gap between top and bottom is widening fast. If you're not at 4-3 or better, the playoff math is getting uncomfortable.