KARNO FANTASY 2023

HEADLINE

Team Carter drops 155 while cousins scramble to keep up.

WEEK IN REVIEW

Week 1 of the 2026 Karno Fantasy season is in the books, and the cousins came out swinging. Team Carter set the early standard with a league-high 155.00 points, powered by D'Andre Swift's 32.40, Jalen Hurts' 30.60, and Chris Olave somehow outperforming both Ja'Marr Chase (3.20) and Drake London (5.50) combined. That's the kind of week where your stars underachieve and you still win by 34.50. Terrifying. Right behind them, New Number, Who Dis? put up 151.70 — good for 20% above the league average — with Trevor Lawrence and Kenneth Walker III both going for 34.10 apiece in what was the biggest blowout of the week, a 35.60-point demolition of the Novotny Bombers.

The middle of the bracket had its own drama. WASTEWATER WINNERS (139.10) and Lisbon Lushes (138.60) both looked comfortable, while Remember The Tight Ends survived a scare — winning by just 5.50 points over JC Wagons in the closest game of the week. Derrick Henry's 35.30 points basically carried that whole operation, and without him, jnovot2867980 is losing that matchup and having a very different Week 1 conversation. Meanwhile, Milwaukee Mavericks scraped together 108.60 to beat Lil' NoVot's abysmal 88.70 — a score that was 30% below the league average and will be the punchline of family gatherings for the foreseeable future.

The only thing funnier than the low scores is that Here comes the PAIN! had Josh Allen go for 39.50 points and still lost. That's not a fantasy problem, that's a roster construction crisis. Week 2 is coming fast, and with half the league already nursing a loss, some cousins are going to be very motivated — or very desperate. Either way, it's going to be messy.

MATCHUP RECAPS

Lisbon Lushes (toddnovow) def. Rockies REVENGE (Fliggor), 138.60–123.50

Lisbon Lushes opened the season with a clean 138.60, led by Isaiah Likely going off for a ridiculous 27.80 points at tight end and Parker Washington adding 19.30. toddnovow finished comfortably above the 126.09 league average and never really felt threatened. Fliggor, on the other hand, had the makings of a monster week — Ashton Jeanty dropped 32.70, Lamar Jackson added 27.80, and Jonathan Taylor chipped in 26.10 — but the rest of the roster fell flat. Terry McLaurin's 3.40 points, Cameron Dicker's 2.00 at kicker, and the Broncos D/ST's 4.00 combined to bleed out what should have been a competitive score. Oh, and Fliggor left 59.80 points on the bench. That's not a loss, that's a crime scene. The 15.10-point margin stings more knowing the talent was there — just in the wrong spots.

Remember The Tight Ends (jnovot2867980) def. JC Wagons (Kyle12179), 133.10–127.60

The closest game of the week — a 5.50-point margin — and it came down to one man: Derrick Henry, who bulldozed his way to 35.30 points like it was 2020 again. Without that performance, jnovot2867980 is sweating. The rest of the lineup was solid but unspectacular — Jaxon Smith-Njigba at 26.20, Cam Skattebo at 14.10, but Harrison Mevis and the Chargers D/ST combined for just 2.00 points. Kyle12179 had a genuinely respectable 127.60 with Justin Jefferson exploding for 31.20 and Brock Purdy adding 28.10, but Colston Loveland's 0.00 points at TE was the dagger — a zero from a starter in a 5.50-point loss. Remember The Tight Ends escapes with a win, but JC Wagons had the firepower to win this game. The margins are thin early, and every zero counts.

WASTEWATER WINNERS (ESPNfan4627121982) def. Here comes the PAIN! (slfdxplr08), 139.10–110.60

WASTEWATER WINNERS handled business with a 28.50-point margin, paced by Bijan Robinson's 31.30, Bucky Irving's 21.30, Trey McBride's 24.50 at TE, and the Steelers D/ST quietly going for 20.00. That is a balanced, dangerous roster. Meanwhile, slfdxplr08 had Josh Allen go nuclear for 39.50 points — the highest individual score by a quarterback this week — and still lost by nearly 30. How? Courtland Sutton scraped together 3.10, the Eagles D/ST mustered 3.00, Brandon Aubrey kicked for 2.00, and Christian McCaffrey — Christian McCaffrey — put up 13.80. The name on the team is "Here comes the PAIN!" and the only pain being delivered is to slfdxplr08's playoff hopes if this kind of supporting cast performance continues. WASTEWATER WINNERS looks like a legitimate threat early.

New Number, Who Dis? (ESPNFAN3068833014) def. Novotny Bombers (novots19), 151.70–116.10

This was a 35.60-point beatdown — the biggest blowout of the week — and New Number, Who Dis? didn't need much luck to do it. Trevor Lawrence went for 34.10, Kenneth Walker III matched him at 34.10, and Zay Flowers added 26.00. That's three players combining for 94.20 points, which alone would have beaten four teams this week. ESPNFAN3068833014 also left 75.20 points on the bench, meaning this roster has even more firepower waiting. novots19 wasn't completely embarrassed — Jahmyr Gibbs dropped 34.60 and Dalton Kincaid added 18.00 — but Marvin Harrison Jr. (4.30), DK Metcalf (8.00), and the Texans D/ST (2.00) turned a competitive lineup into a 116.10 also-ran. New Number, Who Dis? is 20% above league average in Week 1. The rest of the cousins should be nervous.

Milwaukee Mavericks (bellefso) def. Lil' NoVot (wi_player287), 108.60–88.70

Nobody is celebrating here, but somebody had to win. Milwaukee Mavericks posted 108.60 — the second-lowest score among winners — driven by Amon-Ra St. Brown's impressive 28.70, Breece Hall's 19.80, and Jayden Daniels' 21.50. The problem is everything else: Jake Ferguson at TE managed only 2.60, the Browns D/ST contributed 1.00, and the Mavericks' bench had just 32.70 points remaining, the lowest bench total in the league. bellefso squeezed every drop out of this roster and barely got to 108. Lil' NoVot was somehow worse — Jaylen Waddle posted 1.20 points, Bo Nix scraped out 9.40 at QB, and the team finished 30% below league average at 88.70. Javonte Williams (24.20) and Nico Collins (21.20) did their jobs, but wi_player287 left 76.60 points on the bench — the most unused points in the entire league. That is a lineup management disaster in Week 1, and in a cousins league, that's going to be talked about at the next family gathering.

Team Carter (ESPNfan7381931210) def. Unchecked Aggression (ESPNFAN7869483590), 155.00–120.50

155.00 points. League high. Week 1. Statement made. Team Carter put up the biggest score in the league despite Ja'Marr Chase sleepwalking to 3.20 points and Drake London contributing a forgettable 5.50. D'Andre Swift (32.40), Jalen Hurts (30.60), Chris Olave (28.20), and Dallas Goedert (23.70) did the heavy lifting, and the Seahawks D/ST threw in a clean 15.00 to cap it off. ESPNfan7381931210 was 23% above league average and won by 34.50 points while essentially getting nothing from two of the most recognizable names on the roster. Unchecked Aggression had a moment with Jaxson Dart going for 32.60 and David Montgomery adding 28.90, but A.J. Brown's 5.60 and Harold Fannin Jr.'s 4.10 at TE kept the ceiling low. The real headline from ESPNFAN7869483590: 120.90 points left on the bench — the most wasted potential of any team in the league this week. Unchecked Aggression by name, unchecked inefficiency by nature.

POWER RANKINGS

1. Team Carter (ESPNfan7381931210, 1-0) — Scored 155 with two starters in the single digits. That roster depth is genuinely alarming for the rest of this league.
2. New Number, Who Dis? (ESPNFAN3068833014, 1-0) — Three players over 26 points, 75 points left on the bench. The scary part is they weren't even trying yet.
3. WASTEWATER WINNERS (ESPNfan4627121982, 1-0) — Balanced attack, double-digit contributions across the board, D/ST scored 20. This is a well-built roster firing early.
4. Lisbon Lushes (toddnovow, 1-0) — Isaiah Likely at TE is a weapon. Saquon underperformed and they still won by 15. Roster flexibility is real.
5. Remember The Tight Ends (jnovot2867980, 1-0) — Survived on Derrick Henry's back. Kicker and D/ST combined for 2 points. Bulletproof this is not, but 1-0 is 1-0.
6. JC Wagons (Kyle12179, 0-1) — 127.60 points and a loss. Jefferson and Purdy showed out, Loveland put up a zero, and the margin was 5.50. Zero panic warranted — yet.
7. Rockies REVENGE (Fliggor, 0-1) — Left 59.80 on the bench with Jeanty, Jackson, and Taylor all delivering. Better lineup management and this is a 150-point week.
8. Unchecked Aggression (ESPNFAN7869483590, 0-1) — 120.90 bench points is a catastrophic waste. Dart showed out, but the WR room outside of Nabers is a liability.
9. Novotny Bombers (novots19, 0-1) — Gibbs went for 34.60 and they still lost by 35. The supporting cast is genuinely thin and needs waiver attention immediately.
10. Here comes the PAIN! (slfdxplr08, 0-1) — Josh Allen had the highest individual QB score in the league. They lost by 28.50. That's a supporting cast indictment, not a quarterback problem.
11. Milwaukee Mavericks (bellefso, 1-0) — Won with 108.60, the lowest winning score of the week. St. Brown was great, but this roster needs more weapons around him to be taken seriously.
12. Lil' NoVot (wi_player287, 0-1) — 88.70 points. 76.60 left on the bench. Waddle at 1.20. Nix at 9.40. This is 12 problems dressed up as one fantasy team.

LOOKING AHEAD

• ›🏆 Marquee Matchup: Keep your eye on any rematch potential between the top scorers — Team Carter (155.00) and New Number, Who Dis? (151.70) are the two biggest threats in this league. If those rosters meet, the cousins are going to need popcorn.
• ›🔥 Streak Watch: Team Carter and New Number, Who Dis? both enter Week 2 with momentum, elite scoring floors, and opponents who have already seen what a bad week looks like. Expect both to protect home field.
• ›🚨 Must-Win: Lil' NoVot (wi_player287, 0-1, 88.70 pts) cannot afford another performance like Week 1. With 76.60 points left untouched on the bench, this is a lineup management emergency — not a talent problem. Get it right or fall to 0-2 in the family standings, which is a special kind of embarrassing.
• ›💀 Revenge Game: Rockies REVENGE lost to Lisbon Lushes with Jeanty, Jackson, and Taylor all going off — and 59.80 bench points gathering dust. Fliggor will spend all week thinking about that Cameron Dicker 2.00 kicker line. The name says REVENGE. Week 2 is the first chance to mean it.
• ›📉 League Trend to Watch: Half the league left double-digit bench points on the field this week — but Unchecked Aggression's 120.90 bench points is the one that should haunt everyone. Lineup optimization is going to separate the cousins who are here to compete from the ones who are just here for the group chat.