CITIZENSHIP REQUIRED

HEADLINE

justincash Drops 155.10 On Stackhouse's Corpse, Eyes Throne

WEEK IN REVIEW

The biggest storyline is justincash, the returning champ, hanging 155.10 on Stackhouse2026 in a 69.26-point blowout. That was the high score of the week by a mile, built on D'Andre Swift's 27.90, Bucky Irving's 24.00, Josh Jacobs' 23.20, and a Jacksonville DEF that dropped 21.00. That defense was a free agent pickup this week, and Shea's Boyfriend cut it loose in Week 7. Somewhere, Owen is staring at a wall. justincash is now 5-3 on a W3 and looking exactly like the champion everyone pretended to forget about. Meanwhile Stackhouse2026 is 1-7 on L6 with 69.78 points rotting on the bench. That is nearly the entire margin of defeat sitting in a drawer.

The standings are now a five-way pileup at 5-3: andie (W4), Young Shea, justincash, chass, and HEEEEEEEEEEEEE. The team that scores the most is NOT in that pile. Mother Kelly leads the league with 1067.32 total points and sits at 4-4 after losing 141.16–128.98 to HEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Last week's prediction asked her to turn first place into an actual lead. Instead she lost it. Her Commanders DEF pickup scored 15.00 and still could not save her. The talent-to-record paradox is not closing, it is mocking her.

Elsewhere, chass survived with a nauseating 90.98 to beat Shauners' 80.60, the lowest score of the week, in a game that should have been banned from broadcast. Young Shea stopped the bleeding by edging Shea's Boyfriend 119.38–114.70, but did it with 86.90 points left on the bench, which is a staggering amount of points to ignore while winning by 4.68. Week 9 means every game in the five-way logjam is an elimination game in disguise.

MATCHUP RECAPS

HEEEEEEEEEEEEE (HEEEEEEEEEEEEE) def. Mother Kelly (Mother Kelly), 141.16–128.98

HEEEEEEEEEEEEE finished 27.47 above the league average of 113.69 and climbed to 5-3 on a W1. Ja'Marr Chase dropped 31.10 and Josh Allen added 30.56, with Michael Wilson chipping in 26.80 as the third wheel nobody ordered. Mother Kelly posted a perfectly respectable 128.98, which was also above average, and still lost. Her TE Hunter Henry gave her 6.00 and her QB Caleb Williams managed just 13.98. She is now L1 at 4-4 despite the league's highest point total. HEEEEEEEEEEEEE moves into the pile at 5-3, while Mother Kelly watches the pile from the outside like a kid at a window.

Young Shea (Young Shea) def. Shea's Boyfriend (Shea's Boyfriend), 119.38–114.70

A genuine nail-biter at 4.68 points, and Young Shea survived on Kirk Cousins' 30.18 and Jaylen Warren's 24.30. She also started Tre Tucker and Will Reichard for 0.00 apiece while 86.90 points sat on the bench. That is a lineup-discipline crime scene that happened to produce a win. Shea's Boyfriend started T.J. Hockenson, a fresh pickup, and got 15.80 from him, but Bijan Robinson's 7.60 and Ashton Jeanty's 10.30 did him in. He sits at 4-4 on L2 with 71.32 bench points as evidence. Young Shea is 5-3 and snapped her skid, but she did it by accident.

andie (andie) def. JesusJesse (JesusJesse), 127.08–93.08

andie moves to 5-3 on a W4 and leads the league in total points among the 5-3 teams at 1030.54. Jahmyr Gibbs (27.80) and Braelon Allen (26.30) did the heavy lifting, with Trey McBride adding 20.20. She started Zay Flowers for 0.00 and still won by 34.00, which tells you how bad the opposition was. JesusJesse sits at 2-6 on L1. His QB Joe Burrow scored 39.48, the highest individual score of the week, and his lineup still managed just 93.08 because Emanuel Wilson posted 0.00 and Drake London scored 1.80. Burrow went nuclear and the rest of the roster shrugged. JesusJesse has 60.06 points on the bench, which is a lot of points to not use.

chass (chass) def. Shauners (Shauners), 90.98–80.60

This was the ugliest game of the week and the winner was 22.71 below the league average. chass got 25.00 from Puka Nacua and 17.30 from Christian Watson, then fell apart at QB with Matthew Stafford's 10.28 and RB with Jordan Mason's 2.00. It was enough because Shauners put up the week's lowest score at 80.60, a nightmare headlined by Brock Purdy and the Seattle DEF both posting 0.00. Brock Bowers dropped 28.20 and was the only reason this was not a complete eulogy. chass is 5-3 on a W2 and still carries the 195.94 season high like a fake ID. Shauners is 4-4 on L3 and quietly drifting out of the conversation.

justincash (justincash) def. Stackhouse2026 (Stackhouse2026), 155.10–85.84

The week's biggest blowout at 69.26 points. justincash scored 155.10, 41.41 above the league average, and Stackhouse2026 managed 85.84 despite a 27.44 from Patrick Mahomes. The rest of the Stackhouse lineup was a graveyard: Jeremiyah Love scored 2.30, DK Metcalf scored 1.40, and Aaron Jones Sr. scored 6.00. justincash picked up Jacksonville's DEF as a free agent and got 21.00, which is the kind of waiver move that wins weeks. Stackhouse2026 is 1-7 on L6, and 69.78 bench points suggest the roster had better options than whatever the lineup tool was doing. The playoff math ended weeks ago.

POWER RANKINGS

1. andie (andie, 5-3): W4 and the league's highest total among the logjam teams. Gibbs and Allen carried while Flowers laid an egg, and she still won by 34.00.
2. Young Shea (Young Shea, 5-3): Survived a nail-biter with 86.90 bench points unused. Lucky is the nicest word for it, and the lineup discipline is a disaster.
3. justincash (justincash, 5-3): W3 and the week's top score at 155.10. The returning champ is quietly becoming a problem for everyone else in the pile.
4. chass (chass, 5-3): Won ugly at 90.98 and carries a 195.94 ghost from Week 5. The ceiling is real but the floor keeps showing up too.
5. HEEEEEEEEEEEEE (HEEEEEEEEEEEEE, 5-3): Chase and Allen combined for 61.66 and hauled him back into the pile. The quiet contender is loudly back.
6. Mother Kelly (Mother Kelly, 4-4): League-high 1067.32 points and a .500 record. She lost with 128.98, which is a standing-versus-scoring injustice.
7. Shea's Boyfriend (Shea's Boyfriend, 4-4): L2 despite 1007.00 total points. Dropped Jacksonville's DEF a week before it scored 21.00 elsewhere, which is the kind of regret that lingers.
8. Shauners (Shauners, 4-4): L3 and the week's lowest score at 80.60. Purdy and the Seattle DEF both scored 0.00, and the slide looks structural now.
9. JesusJesse (JesusJesse, 2-6): Burrow scored 39.48 and he still lost by 34.00. A team that talented and this broken is its own genre.
10. Stackhouse2026 (Stackhouse2026, 1-7): L6, a 37.50 season low in the books, and 69.78 bench points this week. The season is a memorial service.

LOOKING AHEAD

• ›Marquee Matchup: The five-way 5-3 pile guarantees collisions, and any head-to-head between andie, Young Shea, justincash, chass, and HEEEEEEEEEEEEE is a de facto elimination game. Watch whoever draws andie, because that W4 and 1030.54 PF is the benchmark.
• ›Streak Watch: andie carries a W4 into Week 9 and justincash a W3. On the other side, Stackhouse2026 enters on L6 and Shauners on L3, and one of those streaks is going to feel very different from the other.
• ›Must-Win: Mother Kelly at 4-4 with 1067.32 points cannot keep scoring the most and winning the least. Shea's Boyfriend (L2) and Shauners (L3) are right behind her in the 4-4 traffic jam and need a result now.
• ›Revenge Game: Shea's Boyfriend needs to forget he ever dropped Jacksonville's DEF, which became a 21.00-point weapon for justincash. Any rematch between those two rosters would be a public reckoning.
• ›League Trend: Bench points are the epidemic. Young Shea left 86.90 on the bench and won, Stackhouse2026 left 69.78, and Shea's Boyfriend left 71.32. In a league this tight, the manager who actually starts the right players separates from the pile.